The following letter to Santa didn't arrive at the North Pole until too late for this year's stockings.
We've been living with an unusual gift in our part of Danby: mail delivery on Sundays. OK, we understand that the gift comes from the USPS and not from your workshop. We're hoping you can bestow a gift on the USPS that will make it possible to resume delivery of Saturday's mail on Saturdays.
Here's the scoop: for months, mail for the “uphill Danby” part of the 14883 ZIPcode (Bald Hill, Comfort, Gunderman, and nearby Roads) has been arriving after dark, sometimes hours after sunset. Very often, it's long after residents have returned from work and other daily activities. Unless someone is willing to hike out to the mailbox at 7 or 8pm--in the affected, rural area, mailboxes can be a 5- or 10-minute walk from the front door...in the dark and cold and snow—the mail doesn't “arrive” until the next morning.
Please, Santa, can't you figure a way to have mail delivered around mid-day, like it used to be?
The Spencer postmaster is aware of the problem and is apologetic. “Uphill” is only a mile or two from the West Danby valley as the crow flies, but it's about 600 feet higher and only one or two unpaved goat trails connect the few mailboxes up here to the far greater number of delivery locations down there.
Maybe, Santa, you could deliver an extra postal carrier to Spencer? Or maybe you can magically convince the USPS that the “uphill” parts of 14883 served by the Spencer Post Office would be better served from Ithaca in 14850?
After all, including /any/ part of Danby in the 14883 ZIPcode means that we get the phone book from—of all places—Elmira, that insurance companies think we're in Tioga County, and that our junk mail is aimed at a completely different demographic than the 14850 where we pay taxes and do our marketing. Even you, Santa, can't prevent junk mail...but can you help us get the /right/ junk mail? And not a day late?
-Ted Crane, Danby