The Supreme Court has ruled that the answer to all of the following questions is “b.”
Dad, Mom and two kids have come to the Cayuga Inlet, and they find a small rowboat. The boat can carry only one adult or two children at a time. Both kids are decent rowers. How can the family reach the other side of the Inlet?
a. Until the Inlet is dredged, the family can safely wade across.
b. The family blames the Democrats for stealing a larger rowboat and settles on this side of the Inlet.
Of the following implacable forces, which force is the more implacable?
a. The Taliban.
b. The ability of His Serene Highness Donald Trump to remain a part of the conversation.
A plane crashed on the border of the United States and Mexico. Where were the survivors buried?
a. Trick question – the Wall would make it impossible for a plane to crash ‘on the border’.
b. It doesn’t matter because the Democrats have opened the border and let thousands of COVID-infected immigrants in.
A man is found dead, hanging from the rafters of a room. There are only four things in the room: a hook hanging from the ceiling, a rope attached to the hook and the man hanging from his neck on that rope. The only clue as to how he was able to kill himself is a large puddle of water on the floor. The ceiling is 15 feet high, and the man's feet are eight feet from the floor. How did the man hang himself?
a. He was a really good jumper.
b. He was standing on a block of ice and Jewish space lasers melted it.
A father and daughter have a car accident and are both badly hurt. They are taken to separate hospitals. When the girl is taken in for an operation, the surgeon (doctor) says “I can not do the surgery because this is my daughter.” How is this possible?
a. The doctor, as the patient’s parent, knows she is not insured.
b. The hospital is in Texas, where it’s up to the most litigious private citizen to decide what medical procedures can be performed.
Losing the popular vote is no bar to a Republican becoming President of the United States.
a. False. In a democratic republic, whoever gets the most votes wins.
b. Ask Donald Trump. Or George W. Bush. Or Benjamin Harrison. Or Rutherford B. Hayes.
Classical dilemma: Would you steal a loaf of bread in order to feed your family?
a. What kind of bread?
b. The answer is similar to the answer to the following question: “Would you suppress voting to retain your grip on political power?” (Yes)
Hey, there’s a new disease and it’s highly-transmissible, but we have a vaccine for it. Want the vaccine?
a. Of course. I’m not an idiot.
b. What’s your game? You can’t tell me what to do. Is this about implanting microchips? I knew it! I’m going to Washington on Saturday to fight tyranny!